FINDING PEACE IN THE STORM !!

Have you ever started your day in a great space to later have it turn into a catastrophy of a day? Well I have. Very unsettling and very disturbing to say the least. Okay, so what now?

This curve ball has thrown itself into your day. It’s a life interruption. Well, I remember when I had a home with a husband, my children (who are not his biological children) some bonus adult children and what thought was a secure and happy healthy life. Everything was great( at least in my view) as we worked at being a cohesive blended family.  Until, one day a curve ball was thrown my way and it all came crumbling down. Leaving me with nothing. No husband, no house, my children had to go stay with their father and I was back at my mother's in my old small bedroom. I felt like such a failure! I felt like I was alone. No one had any words to truly comfort me. Not family, or friends. I truly had to dig EXTREMELY deep to not stay in depression and feel hopeless. It was the greatest low of my life. Well sometimes life has a way of blindsiding you. It’s like being hit with a car after you looked both ways. Your thinking “where the hell did you come from”. However, it’s too late you’ve been hit and there is no time for the details. You have to get into the emergency triage and figure out how to get through each day. 

The 1st instinct is let’s get to a hospital and get some medicine to suppress the pain we feel from the injury. Does that sound familiar? That’s what we do a lot of times with our broken hearts. We don’t deal with what happened we just want the pain to go away. Well did I mention to you part of healing is allowing yourself to feel the pain. Yup, the pain provides an unearthing of revelation. It is a alarm signal for your soul to recognize that something is wrong and we need to figure out what.

Dealing with disappointment is actually part of existing in the university called life. It will happen at some point. We just need to take time to get to know ourselves better. To understand the steps we missed. Sometimes it’s nothing we did. Sometimes it’s just part of the journey. We think ourselves this unfair. However, I do believe every time we push through the pain and not over it or under it we become so much stronger and wiser and we acquire tools that no one can take from us.

I learned the style in which I love myself. I love myself with Tough-love. That’s OK sometimes but it’s not OK most of the times. Because I learned that I can’t give anyone nothing more than what I give myself. When it comes to love I needed to learn to love myself gently and with grace. That revelation allowed me to understand why I use to beat myself up all the time. It was why I would sometimes fall short in my relationships. It made me realize, what was causing me not to live up to my full potential. It allowed me to realize that I was afraid of failure. Because I love myself harshly I didn’t cut myself any slack. So I would avoid things that would position me to live up to my full potential in case I failed.

What an amazing revelation that was for me. The realization came when I sat down with one of my pastors and she asked me how do you love yourself ? I had to think about it and then I paused and realized I was loving myself the way I was loved as a child with Tough-love. Well I am so happy to tell you today after that revelation I love myself gently with patience and kindness. I love myself with this inspiring need to help myself be the best version of myself.

Guess what? As a result of this I now can forward that to someone else.

I realized all along God had been showing me how to love myself because of how he love me. However how could I receive love from him if I couldn’t see the love unless it was in the form of tough love. What I love about God the most is he will position you with all the right people with the right message to help evoke those thought processes. To awaken those parts of you that will provoke you to be transformed. So when life comes at you from a blindsided place and you don’t get to move out the way it’s OK. Just step back embrace yourself for the journey may be hard. It may even be long. Just know that Christ endured pain so that we can have a life abundantly.

Life will happen. Life will interrupt you in the most inconvenient times. However, for as long as you have breath in your body, change can happen. That change is in your power. All you have to do is choose to love yourself in a style that propels you to the best version of yourself. Set some boundaries and stop settling for superficial things and call them substance. You want to deal with authenticity in every area of your life. You are a designer original, remember that! You want to show up authentically in relationships, pain, career, health, and spirituality. No more cheating yourself from organic authenticity!! No more cheap carbon copies of what society portrays as successful. Define it for yourself. Then after it is all said and done tap into this Eternal Well of Life!! It’s here for you!! 🙏🏽

Credit - eternalwelloflife.com